she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
