Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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