i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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