They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I did not marry a roomba.
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