Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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