so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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