Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
