Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
