"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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