Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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