I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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