Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
