hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
