Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
