The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
