I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
