worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
