Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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