I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
