I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
