so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
