Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
