New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
