i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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