Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
