Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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