She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
