I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
