Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
