In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
