Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
