I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
