Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
