bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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