He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
