dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
