yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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