My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
