Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
