i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
