We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
