I just pynch a tree in the face
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Randomize
