Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
