U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
