have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
