i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
