I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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