Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
