do herpes really smell.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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