Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
