Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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